Psychologist, fertility coach and IVF mom who helps women and couples overcome challenges associated with infertility. In his practice, he offers support, information and personal consultations. In addition to the topic of infertility, it also teaches how to understand your own soul and be #close to yourself.
"I don't promise clients that they will be able to start a family, but I help them believe it."
Do you think that the psyche (negative thoughts) has/can have a negative effect on fertility?
In general, health is not only the physical state of the human body, but the psyche and our way of thinking play a significant role in it, or mental setting. Our thoughts are like a garden. As in any garden, weeds (negative thoughts) grow in ours, which we should not ignore or pretend are not there. However, if we want flowers to grow in our garden, we must take proper care of it. If we don't dig up the weeds, they will never grow what we want. In principle, what we give space to, both in the garden and in our head, will grow.
If we let the weeds in the form of worries, anxieties and fears take over our minds, they will gradually become our reality, which will be reflected in the way we act, make decisions and how we will deal with challenging situations, for example, which infertility is without a doubt.
Negative thoughts are able to evoke a number of unpleasant emotions, which, especially if they are not adequately processed, send a signal to the head that the arrival of a child in the world may mean danger. When dealing with negative thoughts, it is important to remember that they are just thoughts. We can be aware of them, but we don't have to identify with them.
Do you think it can be worked with?
You can definitely work with it. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes time to get into the hands of the right expert. Treatment procedures at assisted reproduction centers in most cases focus only on physical symptoms, forgetting the fact that the treatment of the soul is just as important as the treatment of our body.
One form of help is fertility coaching, which offers the opportunity to explore obstacles here and now, helps to restore balance and maintain positive motivation in the life of a couple or individual. However, I recommend a certain amount of caution when choosing a coach to whom you decide to entrust your soul. Just like a psychologist or psychotherapist, a coach should have the appropriate education, at least one year of training in coaching.
How long should a customer devote to such "fertility coaching" in order to tune into mental and psychological well-being?
This is very individual and always depends on the needs of the client and the nature of their problems. I personally see working with the human soul as a demanding and very fragile discipline that requires time. Changes don't happen overnight. We all have our own pace needed to process our own topics, and I try to adapt my work with clients to that. In any case, it is good to take into account that no matter what topic a woman or a couple comes up with, if we are talking about mental health, it is not possible to solve the problem in one meeting, despite the best efforts.
The total number of sessions depends on the specific needs of the client and the set goals. In order for the coaching to have an effect and for the client to be able to implement the planned steps and at the same time see how they are reflected in his daily reality, I recommend at least 5-6 coaching sessions.
Fertility coaching is not suitable for every client, and not everyone is comfortable with this type of cooperation either. In such cases, a psychological education is a big advantage for me, which allows me to establish long-term cooperation with clients, within which we can focus on the topics in more depth.
Can life situations that happened in childhood or several years ago be behind psychosomatic problems?
Certainly and often we are not even aware of them. Up to one third of couples have a situation where no somatic (physiological) cause of infertility can be found. In such a case, it is therefore appropriate to focus on psychological or psychosomatic factors of infertility and reveal hidden obstacles such as unprocessed negative emotions, various fears, attitudes and beliefs that can prevent conception.
If we are looking for a psychological cause of infertility, we must also take into account various emotional injuries and unhealed traumas in the field of femininity and motherhood, which a woman carries from childhood or adolescence, for example. These topics can range from unclear relationships with parents, the absence of a positive maternal role model leading to doubts in women whether they will be a good mother themselves, to the unconscious rejection of pregnancy as a result of a previous traumatic pregnancy, birth or miscarriage.
Not all emotional wounds are necessarily due to situations that happened in the past. Current influences resulting from, for example, an uncertain socio-economic situation and associated fear of whether the couple will be able to afford a child can also play a role. A woman may not be sure of the relationship and doubt her partner as the future father of her child, she may unconsciously resist pregnancy for fear of losing her social status and changing her life, she may fear childbirth or doubt her readiness for the maternal/parental role. All these are factors that can become a source of internal conflict and a stimulus in the subconscious, with which the body reacts externally in the form of a "block" preventing pregnancy.